Fear of Being Outsourced? Fight Back


Me, outsourced? Impossible. How could they replace a business-humor columnist? But my brother-in-law, the radiologist, told me his hospital was threatening to cut his position because they had found a medical group out of India that would read MRIs at half the cost.

He warned me, "Hesh, don't be so smug. No one is indispensable in today's world economy."

He was right. I had become blasé. I needed to diversify and find readers outside the USA, especially in the booming call-centers of India.

Do Indians find our business customs humorous? I decided to do some research. I called the IBM help desk. I asked the technician where he was located. He said "Birmingham, Alabama," and he said it with pride.

I asked for his boss. I told her that I wanted to be helped by someone in Bombay. "What? I usually get the opposite requests," she blurted out.

I told her that I found their staff people in India to be more helpful and courteous. And I found their English easier to comprehend compared to the southern accents from Birmingham.

Within seconds, I was talking to Bombay. After spending a few minutes on a fictitious problem, I asked my help-support person what he found humorous about working with Americans.

He said, "Sir, it would be inappropriate for me to comment on you Americans and your business practices."

I kept on digging. "You must be frustrated spending eight hours a day listening to us Americans. How do you blow off steam?

He suggested I call a business radio talk show in Bombay where the locals call in with their problems of working with westerners. It was called "Can I Speak to your Supervisor, Please."

Using my computer I was able to find a real cheap Internet-phone line to Bombay, and I called. The radio show's producer doubted my veracity when I told him I was calling from the USA. He thought it was a crank call. But when he listened to my accent - half Pittsburgh and the other half Brooklyn - he knew no Indian could impersonate that dialect.

He reminded me to use only my first name, when being interviewed. The talk show host began, "Our next caller is a Mister Hesh from the USA. We are very lucky to have an overseas caller. Welcome to our show."

"What is it about doing business with Americans that you find most intriguing or disconcerting?" I asked.

"A great question," the talk show host realized he had an issue that could generate some controversy. "Mr. Hesh, why not hold on as we let our callers respond."

The first caller began, "Mr. Hesh, you Americans have such a childish belief system. You expect every problem to be solvable. Our culture has taught us the inevitability of misfortune. I want to say to callers, 'Sorry, Mrs. Grady, your hard drive is forever broken and can never be repaired. Please unplug it and grieve for the next 10 minutes.' But, I am not allowed."

The second caller said. "We are obligated to try to sell you a software upgrade with each call. We think that this is very inhospitable. In our culture when someone calls for help, one must never try to gain an advantage from another's adversity. But we are taught that this is what makes you Americans so wealthy."

The producer asked me to call again. He had dozens of local callers waiting to talk to me. Before I knew it I was a radio personality in India with my own morning business call-in show.

Now, I visit India almost twice a month. I am a regular commentator on their TV morning shows and a sought-after lecturer at business conferences.

The travel back and forth is brutal even in first class. Plus, because of the time difference I have to be wide awake from 2 a.m to 5 a.m to take the calls from my audience. Why I am actually considering moving to India permanently.

Somehow the governor found out about my impending move (I bet it was from my mother) and he called asking that I not take my business overseas. It would be a terrible loss to our region's image.

He had funds to help businesses keep jobs here. I would qualify for an economic-development grant if I did not relocate. I guess it is like paying farmers not to plant corn. (Do they still do that?)

I called my brother-in-law with my good news, and said, "I told you going to medical school was a poor career choice. You should have majored in English, like I did."

Hesh Reinfeld writes a syndicated business humor column. You can read additional examples of his columns on his website: http://www.heshreinfeld.com Or contact him at hesh1@comcast.net







Related News



Workers bust employment stereotypes - NEWS.com.au

Workers bust employment stereotypes
NEWS.com.au, Australia -17 hours ago
While garbage truck drivers continue to earn more than childcare workers there's no financial incentive for men to switch to careers into female dominated ...

Manufacturers face lack of new workers - Green Bay Press Gazette

Manufacturers face lack of new workers
Green Bay Press Gazette, WI -7 hours ago
We manufacturers have to get people, and especially young people, to realize that careers in manufacturing are good for their future and that many of the ...


Bye-bye to career employment for Baby Boomer men - Examiner.com

Examiner.com

Bye-bye to career employment for Baby Boomer men
Examiner.com -Oct 1, 2008
"Career employment – meaning employment with a single employer from middle age to retirement – is no longer the norm. So if workers are to remain in the ...

The big letdown - The Gazette (Montreal)

The big letdown
The Gazette (Montreal), Canada -Oct 4, 2008
About a year ago, the career coaches at Youth Employment Services Montreal began noticing an increase in the number of depressed and anxious job seekers ...

Launch of Choice – MTA Tourism Career Awareness Programme - Malta Independent Online

Launch of Choice – MTA Tourism Career Awareness Programme
Malta Independent Online, Malta -9 hours ago
... fourth and fifth year students to careers in the tourism industry, showing that the tourism industry can be a source of gainful and rewarding employment...

Additional resources - Kansas.com

Additional resources
Kansas.com, KS -4 hours ago
...Careers for Teens (http://www.quintcareers.com/teen-jobs.html): This site has job and career advice for teens, including part-time and summer employment.

Economic Downturn Has Many Reconsidering Retirement Plans - RedOrbit

Economic Downturn Has Many Reconsidering Retirement Plans
RedOrbit, TX -8 hours ago
They will remain on the job, take new jobs, go back to school for retraining, start new careers and become entrepreneurs in late life. You name it. ...

Overt sex bias is losing ground - Buffalo News

Overt sex bias is losing ground
Buffalo News,  United States -6 hours ago
Child care remains a big issue for women, with surveys showing women still feel that they are the primary caregivers and that this can hurt their careers. ...

Irene Krechowiecka answers your employment questions - guardian.co.uk

Irene Krechowiecka answers your employment questions
guardian.co.uk, UK -Oct 3, 2008
Can you tell me if it is possible to pursue this career with my academic background? The programme you mention sparked huge interest in careers in probate ...

JVS honoring business, employee - Mirror

JVS honoring business, employee
Mirror, MI -Oct 5, 2008
The JVS Inspiration Award will go to Farmington Hills resident David Landaw who used JVS' Career Development and Employment Services to successfully change ...